Can't Let Go
by ALynette1
Summary: This takes place after Verna's funeral. Cyrus & Olivia figure out that Fitz knows about the election rigging and now they must deal with the fall out. Olitz angst.
1. Chapter 1

I'm new to writing Scandal fanfics, but I love the show so much that I decided to give it a try. Hope you all like it.

**Can't Let Go**

_**I sit up all night **_

_**Thinkin' about you**_

_**And know it ain't right, baby**_

_**But I don't**_

_**I don't think, don't think that I**_

_**That I can let go (Don't think I can let you know)**_

_**(Ne-Yo, Can't Let Go)**_

Olivia sat in her living room with a bottle of her favorite red wine replaying the harsh words Fitz said to her before Verna's funeral. _"Screwing your mistress is one thing, but marrying her, that's political suicide."_ The words were on an endless loop inside her head and the more she drank, the more the words pierced her broken heart.

And the word "mistress", the very word he told her to NEVER call herself is what cut the deepest. Yes technically she was his mistress because he's married, but their relationship was so much more than just some cheap, tawdry affair. They were the loves of each other's life, they belonged to each other. She just couldn't understand what would make Fitz do a complete 180 on wanting them to be together. As Olivia went pick up the bottle to refill her glass, her cell phone rang. Sighing as she picked up the phone from her coffee table, she answered in typical Olivia Pope fashion.

"What?" Olivia said slightly slurring from the nearly full bottle of wine she'd consumed.

"Liv, are you alright?" Asked Cyrus in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine Cy. I've had a few glasses of wine." Olivia said taking another sip from her glass.

"Olivia, I need you to put the glass down and listen to me." Cyrus said slightly raising his voice to make sure he had Olivia's attention. "He knows about Defiance. I don't know how, but Fitz knows!"

"What…what do you mean he knows?! How in the hell does he know Cyrus?!" Olivia shouted, standing from her spot on her couch and immediately started pacing in circles in front of her coffee table.

"I don't know!" Bellowed Cyrus. "All I know is that he called me to come to the Oval and it was just some thing about him that was off. He was eerily calm, with a glass in one hand and Scotch in the other. And then he started telling the story about how the election came down to this one small county in Ohio. And Liv, he's told this story before but tonight, it was different. He said, and I quote 'It's like someone took it upon themselves to have me win that county.' Liv the look in his eyes said it all. It wasn't a question he was asking. He stated it as a matter of fact."

Olivia instantly started putting the pieces together. It was all making sense. The cold manner in which he treated her at Verna's funeral, his harsh words, calling her his mistress. "Oh my God!" Olivia sobbed into the phone, startling Cyrus.

"Olivia! Olivia!" Cyrus called repeatedly but only heard Liv's sobs in response. "I'm coming over to see you. Just please try to relax and….."

Olivia let the phone drop from her hands, and she fell onto her couch completely devastated. This was her worst nightmare coming true. She never wanted Fitz to find out about the election being rigged. She knew it would destroy him and prove that his father was right about him, that he'd never be a winner.

Thirty minutes later her doorbell began to ring and Olivia knew it was Cyrus. Running her hands through her hard and then smoothing out her sweater, she opened the door. Cyrus looked at her ashen face and red, puffy eyes, closed the door and immediately pulled her into a hug. After a few minutes Olivia pulled away from Cyrus and just looked down at her feet. They stood in awkward silence until Cyrus finally spoke.

"He saw Verna just before she died. Matter of fact, he was in the room with her when she passed. Do you think that she told him? You know, wanting to confess her sins since she was on her death bed?"

Olivia sat on the far end of her sofa, grabbing a pillow and hugging it before she spoke. "Verna…she's the one who tried to kill Fitz." Olivia stated in a voice so low and broken that it didn't even sound like her. She looked up to see Cyrus with his mouth agape and the color draining from his face.

"She did what?" Cyrus asked in disbelief as he sat beside Olivia, running his hands through his thinning hair.

"After my team figured out that it wasn't Hollis that tried to kill Fitz, things started to add up. Verna mentioned the burner phone and then she knew about Becky, which no one but me and my team knew about at the time. I confronted her about it and she admitted to it."

"Why would she try to kill him after everything we did to get him elected?" Cyrus asked turning to look at Liv who had now began pacing in circles.

"She said she wanted to restore honor to office. But yet she didn't want to tarnish her legacy, so she'd just rather kill Fitz." Olivia pulled at the hair at the nape of her neck as if she was trying to pull out all of the tension that consumed her petite frame. "That bitch tried to kill him Cyrus. When she admitted it to me, I was so pissed I could have killed her right then and there."

"We, me and you, have to fix this Liv. With Fitz finding out about Defiance and dealing with the assassination attempt, he's in a bad place right now. We've worked too hard to get him to this point for Fitz to just drink himself into self destruction."

"Cyrus, us 'fixing' shit is what got us in this mess in the first place. I let you all talk me into something that I knew was wrong. If I hadn't been emotionally involved with Fitz I would have recognized what was wrong before it was too late and fixed things." Olivia said continuing to pace in circles around her living room.

"Tomorrow morning, I need you to come to my office. We need to work this thing out and try to defuse Fitz before he goes apeshit. We have to get him under control and make him understand why we did what we did. 9 AM, not a minute later Liv." Cyrus said standing. "Try to get as much rest as you can tonight because starting tomorrow, we're gonna be in for the fight of our lives." Cyrus said walking towards the door. "9 o'clock Liv, 9 o'clock."

As soon as Cyrus closed the door, Olivia picked up her wine glass off the coffee table, down it's contents in one gulp and hurled the empty glass across the room, it shattering as it made contact with her front door.

* * *

The next morning Olivia was sitting in Cyrus' office at exactly 9 o'clock, staring at nothing in particular. "I don't know how to fix this Cy. I…I just don't know." Liv said as her voice cracked, full of emotion. "We royally fucked up Cy and I don't think there's anything we can do to right this wrong for Fitz. He's the love of my life and I did something that I knew would hurt him deeply if he found out. I just wanted him to win because I knew he wanted it so badly." Olivia said as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

"Liv, we all did it because we knew how much Fitz wanted to be president and that he was truly the best man for the job. And look at all the things he's done. We did the right thing Liv." Cyrus said as Olivia gave him a look of utter disgust.

"No! You and Mellie and Verna and Hollis did this to your benefit!" Olivia screamed. "You became Chief of Staff, Mellie became First Lady, Verna became a Supreme Court Justice and Hollis got to run around here like he owned the place. You four benefited and got the power you wanted from the beginning, so don't insult my intelligence by saying you did this for Fitz!"

"Now wait one minute! Don't act like you got nothing out of all of this. You became Communications Director. You chose to leave and start OPA, but if you hadn't been on the trail and turned around Fitz's campaign, OPA wouldn't be as successful as it is now. And YOU…" Cyrus said pointing his finger at Olivia "Got the most power of all! When shit hit's the fan in this city, people run to you to fix it. And the power you wield over Fitz is nothing short of amazing. He would hang on your every word as if it were the gospel. So don't tell me you didn't gain from Fitz becoming president."

"But the thing is that I would've been fine without those things. All I wanted was him but I knew he wasn't mine to have. So I did what I did out of love for that man. Things could have been so different for us if I hadn't voted yes! But I love him so much that I went against what I knew deep in my soul was wrong. Because I didn't want him to think he was the looser his father told him he was. I wanted him to be happy and I knew becoming President of the Unites States was what would make him happy." Olivia said almost breathlessly. She was so tired. Tired of it all. Tired of keeping this secret for years. Tired of having to love the love of her life from a distance. Tired of being the one to always have to fix the messes others created. Without another word, Olivia picked up her coat and purse and exited Cyrus' office. As she walked down the corridor, she heard her named being called. Looking back she saw that it was Tom and knew why he was calling her name.

"Ma'am, the President would like to see you. I've been given strict orders to bring you to the Oval immediately." Tom said giving Olivia a look that said he was sorry.

* * *

Olivia walked into the Oval Office and placed her coat and purse on the sofa, waiting for Fitz to arrive. She was too anxious to sit down so she had to keep moving. As she paced in circles around the seal on the floor, she heard the door open and shut behind her. Turning to face the door, she saw Fitz and the look in his eyes told her this wasn't going to be pretty. His grey eyes were dark and she could tell it was from a mixture of alcohol, a lack of sleep and pure anger. He walked past her and stood in front of his desk, his hands at his side tapping lightly on his thighs. They both stood and looked away from each other in silence. Fitz was the first to make eye contact as he cleared his throat. He closed the gap between them and reached out as if he wanted to touch her but pulled back, as if he had found a bit of self control he didn't even know existed.

"Fitz, I…." Olivia began to say but was cut off by Fitz raising his hand, telling her to stop.

"You are going to listen! I don't want to hear what you have to say right now Olivia!" Fitz's voice roared, sending a cold shiver down Olivia's spine.

"Four days ago, I begged and pleaded with you to wait for me. I told you how much I love you and that I was going to divorce my wife and that all I wanted was for you to wait for me. Wait for us." Fitz sat down on the sofa opposite of where Olivia was standing. Tugging on his hair, he continued to speak. "I trusted you above anyone else on this earth. I knew you were the one person who would be honest with me no matter what. That's one of the things that made me fall for you. You told me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear. You _were_ my best friend! The love of my life, the woman of my dreams. My everything. Why? Why did you do it? Why did you lie to me for so long? How could you do this to me? You told me you believed in me. If you believed in me so much, why did you think you had to cheat to put me here, in this office?" Fitz asked, his voice raw with emotion.

Olivia stood looking away from Fitz and down at the floor. She wanted to tell him that she never stopped believing in him and that she only did what she did out of love for him. But she just couldn't find the right words because everything she could think of felt so trite.

"Nothing huh? The great Olivia Pope is going to stand here and say NOTHING!? Come on Liv, you have to tell me why you of all people did this?" Fitz said standing up and getting into Olivia's personal space. He leaned down and whispered in her ear "come on Sweet Baby, you have to tell me why. Why did you do this?" Liv looked into his eyes and could see that he was openly crying, which broke her heart even more.

"Fitz I knew how much you wanted to be president. You had worked so hard but with six weeks to go, you were still down 10 points. And while you father had helped close the gap for you, we still had a long way to go and not enough time to make up that gap. I _struggled _with that decision. I _agonized_ over it. I did not want to do it. But the day before the election, I knew if we, if I didn't do it, you would loose and that would have devastated you and I didn't want you see you like that. To feel as if what your father said to you was true. I wanted you to be a winner. You were the best man for the job. Man of the people."

"But I'm not the man of the people!" Fitz hissed "The people didn't elect me! You helped steal the Presidential election! Do you know what could have happened to you if someone else found out? Do you know how reckless you were Olivia?! The other four, I could expect this from, but not you. Not the woman I love."

"Don't you see that I did this because I love you. It wasn't a hasty decision I made. I just felt like there was no other choice. I did what I had to do for you Fitz. Always for you. Because I love you more than I can fathom." Olivia said with tears welling up in her brown doe eyes.

"You love me huh? Love me so much that you lied to me for the past two years. Love me so much that YOU _again _made a decision that you though was best for me. That sounds like some twisted love if you ask me. You always take this, us into your hands and make decisions that affect us both by yourself. Just like when you left the White House. Then when you conspired with Mellie when I wanted to resign." Fitz reached out and stroked Liv's cheek with his thumb. "You let everyone else get inside of your head, inside your gut when it comes to us and you throw us away. To hell with how I may feel. Did you ever think that I may have eventually been ok with loosing the election? Would it have hurt, yes. But I would have been free to be with you. We could have planned a life together. You could be my wife right now. You cheated more that the American people. You cheated us. And I'm tired of being cheated by you. I'm tired of being the one groveling at your feet, begging you to give us a chance. I don't trust you anymore and I'm done. I'm tired of this back and forth with you Olivia."

"Wha…what are you saying Fitz?" Olivia stuttered. It felt like all of the oxygen was being sucked out of the room and she was getting light headed.

"I'm over this." Fitz stepped back and motioned between him and Olivia. "I'm over us. We are done. I don't want to see you, I don't want to speak to you. I don't want to hear you voice. I don't even want to hear your name. I just want…I want you out of my life. I can't deal with you right now. I'll always love you, but I just can't. I can't handle this." Fitz turned his back to Olivia and stared in the direction of his desk, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

Olivia blinked away the tears that attempted to fall before she spoke. "I can't Fitz. I can't let go. I tried it once but I can't do that again. There has to be some other way. I told you I'd wait as long as you needed me to and I mean it."

"There is no need to wait Liv. This is over. I called off the divorce. I'm not leaving my wife." Fitz turned to see the heartbroken look in Liv's eyes. "We are done. You can leave now Ms. Pope."


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is a little short, but it's a set up chapter. The next update will be longer.

Fitz walked into the residence a little after midnight and could immediately feel Mellie's eyes on him. "How was Teddy today? I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to spend much time with him. Things got a little crazy, to say the least." Fitz said flinging his jacket on the couch and taking off his tie. He then walked over to the bassinet and admired his sleeping son. He smiled a genuine smile for the first time in days as he ran his hand gently over Teddy's little head.

"He was fine. Slept most of the day. That's what newborns do _honey_." Mellie said, her voice dripping with venom. "I saw Olivia leaving earlier. You want to tell me what all of that was about? Especially since you said that it was just me and you."

Fitz ran his hands through his hair and over his face as he sighed. He didn't want to have this conversation with Mellie but he knew she wouldn't let it go. Not tonight. Fitz called for Teddy's nurse to take him to the nursery. He didn't want to scare the baby because he knew things were about to get ugly between him and Mellie. After the nurse left with the baby, Fitz turned and looked Mellie dead in the eyes. "Mel, you don't want to go round for round with me tonight about _her._" Fitz couldn't bring himself to say her name. Their earlier conversation had been gnawing at him since it happened. He hated the way he talked to Olivia almost as soon as she had left his office but his pain and heartbreak wouldn't let him apologize. He wasn't the one in the wrong this time.

"Oh yes I do!" Mellie yelled. The past two years of her life had been overrun by Olivia Pope and her husband's inability to get over that woman. "You said it was us in this together but I come to your office with our son and your secretary tells me that you're in a meeting with Olivia and that you aren't to be interrupted. I am sick of her! She's always around! You're always keeping her around!" Mellie rubbed her temples and continued to speak. "I _hate_ that bitch! I _loath_ that bitch! She's been a pain in my ass since the moment Cyrus brought her on to work on your campaign. Fitzgerald, I'm not asking, but demanding that you cut her out of our lives _for good_, or so help me God…I will destroy you both. I'm sick of this shit!"

Fitz let out laugh but nothing was funny. He looked at Mellie as if she had three heads. "From where I'm sitting, YOU are in no position to make demands Mel. You know, dirty little secrets always have a way of coming out. You have anything you need to tell me? You have any secrets you want to confess?" Fitz asked in a daring tone. He was daring Mellie to tell him about rigging the election. He searched her eyes and could see a moment of fear twinkle in her eyes before she blinked it away and became the Ice Queen.

"I don't know what you're trying to get at Fitz. If you want to know something, find your balls and ask me. Or does Olivia still possess them?" Mellie said as she defiantly stepped into Fitz's personal space.

Fitz leaned into Mellie's face and in a low, grimacing voice that Mellie had never heard before, gave his wife a warning. "Do NOT speak her name to me again! I'm tired. I don't feel like doing this with you tonight. Do. Not. Push. Me! You won't like what I have to say if you do."

Mellie pushed past Fitz, heading for the door before turning around to face her husband. "Motherfucker then I'm gonna push! I mean it, I'm tired of this shit! I don't know what kind of hold _Olivia_…" Mellie made sure over accentuate on Olivia's name. "Has on you. But it's stopping now!"

"Oh you really want to know the hold she has on me? You really want to know Mel? Well I'm going to tell you! She…" Fitz took a moment to swallow the lump that began to form in his throat then continued. "She's the love of my life! She's the woman I wish was my wife. I look at our son and can't help but wish that Liv was his mother." That last sentence left Fitz's mouth before he could pull the words back. Seeing the devastation on Mellie's face pained him for a moment but he quickly blinked away that feeling. He told her not to push but she insisted on doing so. She deserved the pain she was feeling right now.

"Wow." Mellie said in a whisper. "You always knew what to say to hurt me. And you're par for the course tonight Fitzgerald." Mellie walked to the door and opened it. Before walking out, she shot her husband a look of hatred. "If you knew the truth about your perfect little Olivia, I bet your feelings for her would change. And she'd tumble so far down from the pedestal you've put her on."

Fitz let Mellie walk out of the room without correcting her. She didn't deserve to know that he knew about Defiance. At least not right now. And regardless of what Liv did, he was still in love with her and would always be.

* * *

Olivia made it to her office before anyone else had arrived the next morning. She had a restless night and could only sleep a few minutes at a time. Her mind just wouldn't turn off. Yesterday's events were playing over and over in her head like a nightmare. After she left the White House yesterday she was in no shape to go into the office so she went home and allowed herself that one day to wallow in her pain and heartbreak. As she flipped through the file she had on their latest client, her cell phone began to ring. Looking at the caller ID she groaned. It was a number she never though she'd see. Mellie Grant.

"What do you need Mellie?" Olivia asked with an obvious annoyed tone.

"I need you to come to the residents as soon as you can. Right now preferably."

"Mellie, I have work to do. I'm not about to drop everything I'm doing to come…"

"This isn't a request. This is an order Olivia!" Mellie hissed into the phone. "Twenty minutes. Be here." Mellie then disconnected the call without giving Olivia a chance to respond.

An hour later Olivia was walking down the corridor that lead to the residence in the White House. No way in hell would she give Mellie the satisfaction of "ordering" her to do anything. Let along giving her a time table of when to be there. She almost decided not to show up at all but something in her gut told her to go.

"So nice of you to finally show up Olivia." Mellie said as she sipped her tea in the living room. "Only forty minutes late. Sit." Mellie motioned to the chair across from her. "Or stand." Said Mellie once she noticed Olivia hadn't moved far from the door.

"Mellie, as I told you on the phone, I have work to do, so if all you wanted to was invite me over for tea, I'm going to have to decline." Olivia shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her annoyance clearly showing.

"I wanted to talk to you about Fitz. We had a very…enlightening conversation last night. A lot of truths were told. He's very angry."

"Well Mellie what do you expect? He just found out his presidency is a lie. That's not easy for someone to swallow."

"He what? What are you talking about Olivia?" Mellie asked in an obvious state of confusion.

"Wait. You said he was very angry. And I saw him yesterday. He knows about Defiance." Olivia looked at Mellie and realized that Fitz hadn't told her he knew about her part in the election rigging.

"He never mentioned that to me. But that certainly explains his mood lately. How in the hell did he find out Olivia? Did you tell him to ease your guilt?" Mellie accused.

"No! I did not tell him. Cyrus and I think Verna told him before she died."

"Well you need to fix this! You're the only person he will listen to. Make him understand the reason we did what we did! You do whatever you have to do Olivia. I will not lose my position as First Lady because Fitz's feelings are hurt. You go to the Oval and talk to him!" Mellie rambled on like a crazy woman as Olivia looked at her as if she's sprouted horns on her head.

"I can't fix this Mellie. He doesn't trust me anymore. It's done. Just let it be done. We screwed up enough to last a lifetime. Let him work this out himself. Now I really need to get back to the office. Next time you need help with your husband, don't call me."

"I didn't need you to be in his pants either but that never stopped you from being there." Mellie seethed. "I didn't need you to creep into his heart but that's where you reside. Three people are in my marriage and I did NOT ask you to be here, yet here you are! Since you came into our lives, you have been in our relationship! So you will do WHATEVER you have to do to fix this!"

"Mellie.." Olivia said stepping toe to toe with the brunette. "I will not be ordered to do any damn thing! Do I make myself clear? You can't expect me to keep cleaning up your messes. Fitz and I are DONE! Done! And I'm advising you not to push him."

Fitz could here the voices before he reached the door. They were yelling and fighting like he'd never heard before. Olivia was telling Mellie not to push him and Mellie was telling Olivia to fix him. Neither woman noticed that he had walked into the room and only turned around when he slammed the door.

"Olivia, what are you doing here?" Fitz asked with a slight frown on his face, but not taking his eyes off Liv. He could feel his heart softening just by looking at her. He wanted to keep up the anger he was feeling for her so Fitz turned to look at Mellie. "Mellie, why is Olivia here?"

"I called her. I needed to discuss a matter with her." Mellie looked uneasy and Fitz could see it.

"I think I should go. Mellie. Mr. President." Olivia said as she looked into Fitz's eyes. Quickly breaking eye contact, Liv gathered her purse and coat and headed for the door.

"Livvey…" Fitz whispered. His words made Olivia momentarily pause. But without looking back she again said goodbye and exited the room, slamming the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Harrison! Abby! Quinn! Huck!" Olivia called out as she entered the office. "What else have you all found out about Mr. Taylor's daughter?" Olivia was referring to their latest client, the CEO of a computer software company who's 23 year old daughter had been missing for the past two days.

"Still no activity on her credit cards, bank account or cell phone. It's like she just fell off the face of the earth." Huck said.

"Shit! There has to be something to give us a clue. No way the daughter of one of the country's richest men goes missing and no one knows where she went or what happened to her. Abby, I want you to use your police contacts and see if you can find out anything. Huck, keep checking her accounts. Also get into her Facebook and Twitter accounts and see if there is anything in her private messages that could lead us to something. Quinn, I need you to go and talk to Caitlyn's friends. Find out if she was dating anyone or had a boyfriend. And Harrison, go back and talk to the family. I think her sister knows more about her life than she's letting on. Get her alone, away from her parents and see what you can get. I have a meeting to get to but let me know what you all find out."

* * *

"Cy, I really enjoy our little meetings, but this going to have to stop. I can't keep coming here. Not after what's happened the past few days." Olivia sighed as she took the cup of coffee from Cyrus, sitting down on the bench beside him.

"Liv, he _needs _you. He's angry and hurt and sad, but I honestly think you are the only person that has any chance to gain back his trust. He's drinking so much that he's starting to reek of alcohol. He won't even listen to what anyone has to say about anything. He's making mistakes that he normally wouldn't make. You have to help him. I'm asking for this favor."

"No. I can't. We're done. He's done with me. I can't keep doing this to myself. I wish I could help him, I really do Cy, but I can't." Olivia took a sip of her coffee, trying to wash down the lump forming in her throat.

"I wouldn't be asking this of you if I felt there was another way to get through to him. He _loves _you and regardless of how angry he is, that counts." Cyrus scooted closer to Olivia and put his arm around her shoulder. "Please just think about it Liv. You're the love of his life. He'll eventually listen to you."

"Why does everyone expect me to be the one that will be able to get through to Fitz? I may be the love of his life, but he trusted me and I've lost that trust. He's not going to be willing to hear anything I have to say Cyrus. And I'm not up for another yelling match with him. It's emotionally and physically draining. I'm sleep deprived and overworked as it is. I just can't go twelve rounds in this heavyweight fight! Not right now!" Olivia scooted away from Cyrus' embrace. "Do you know how it feels to see the person you love in pain and know that you caused it? Do you know how the pained look on his face haunts my dreams? And do you care about how what you're asking me to do affects me? It's killing me. You and Mellie just expect me to fix everything. I keep giving and giving and there will be nothing left for myself. I have to start putting me first. If it's not work related then I'm out of the fixing business." Olivia stood up, grabbing her purse. "Just don't push him Cy. He needs time to deal with this on his own. You know if you push him he'll just turn to the bottle even more." Olivia kissed Cyrus on the cheek and walked off.

* * *

"Mr. President? Mr. President?" Cyrus had been calling Fitz's name for the past few minutes with no reply. Fitz had his chair turned facing the windows in the Oval Office and he swirled a tumbler of scotch in his left hand.

"I heard you Cyrus. I was hoping that you'd take the hint that I was purposely ignoring you. But since you insist on getting my attention, you have it. Now what do you want." Fitz spun his chair around so that he was now facing Cyrus. His tie was loose, jacket discarded on the chair beside his desk and his hair was disheveled.

"Fitz, you have to get the drinking under control. It's 10 am and you're damn near drunk. You can't keep functioning like this. I will help you any way I can, but you have to pull it together sir!" Cyrus had had just about enough of the brooding.

"I bet you would help _any_ way you can Cy. But I think you've done enough." Fitz smirked as he took another long sip from his glass.

"This ends today! I'm sick of you sulking around here! You want to have it out about Defiance, then lets do it." Cyrus stood in front of Fitz's desk. To hell with not pushing him. He was done babysitting Fitz. If he wanted to coddle a child he'd do that to his daughter.

"Who…who came up with the idea to rig the machines?" Fitz asked, setting the empty tumbler down on the desk.

"It was Hollis. He said that he had a guy that could make the software. All he needed was the go ahead. Liv was against it from the beginning. We said it was to be a unanimous decision."

"What made her agree to it then? Why didn't she keep being against it?" Fitz asked. His anger at bay for the moment.

"A few days before the election I talked to her. I had to get her to understand that we were going to lose this election if we didn't do something. Everyone had bust their asses and it couldn't just be for nothing. We had to do this or it was going to be over. All of the hard work would go down the drain. And that was just unacceptable. The day before the election, she tearfully came to us and agreed to do it." Cyrus sat down on one of the sofas and put his feet up on the coffee table.

"Tearfully of not, she agreed to it. She didn't have enough faith in me that I may have won on my own. She let you brow beat her into a decision she knew was wrong. I can't get past that Cy. She was supposed to love me and she lied to me. I can't shake the feeling that she loved me for the power more than me, Fitz the man." Fitz tugged at his dark curls as he sighed. His anger at Olivia was slowly fading and it was being replaced by overwhelming sadness.

"She loves you. No matter what she's done, Liv loves you Fitz. This is killing her. It's breaking her heart."

"And what about my broken heart?! Huh? What bout the fact that the woman I love more than anything on this earth didn't have faith in me? Lied to me for years about how I really got into this office. I could expect this level of deception from you and Mellie. But not Liv. She was always honest with me. I don't understand why she did this." Fitz's voice was raw with emotion. He'd never been this open with Cyrus before.

"She did it because she loves you sir. She did what she thought would make you happy. Your father almost destroyed you and it killed Liv to see that. She didn't want you to think anything Gerry said about you was true."

"But my father was right! I didn't win! I'm the loser he said I was." Fitz stood and walked over to the decanter, pouring another glass full of scotch.

"A week ago you were willing to divorce your wife to be with Liv. Now are you telling me that those feelings have stopped? Are you going to punish her forever over a mistake she made?" Cyrus grabbed a glass and poured himself a drink. Emo Fitz wasn't something that could be dealt with without a drink.

"I'll never stop loving Olivia. But with Mellie, at least I know the devil I'm with. I don't have to wait with baited breath to see what she'll do. I know she's an animal. But Liv…" The tears were burning Fitz's eyes. "I guess I put her on this pedestal and in my eyes she could do no wrong. That's why it hurts so much Cy. She's not the person I thought she was."

"But that's not fair to her. You put her on this pedestal, but you knew she wasn't perfect. You knew what she did for work. She would decimate anyone in her way if it got the end result she wanted. You saw what she did during the Amanda Tanner scandal. I think you wanted Liv to save you. Save you from your father, Mellie and yourself." Fitz took a sip of his drink and let Cyrus' words sink in. Maybe he did create this unrealistic version of Olivia in his head.

"I don't know how to do this without her Cy. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't think straight. I can barely breathe." Fitz's voice broke with tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Talk to her. Let her help you. If you two have to scream and yell until neither of you can talk, if it fixes things then it'll be worth it. Isn't the love of your life worth talking to?" Cyrus sat his glass down on the table and headed for the door. Before leaving he said "If you don't, this will destroy you and everything you love. Including Olivia."

* * *

It was 1 am before Olivia settled into bed. The case they were working on was giving them hell and they were no closer to finding the CEO's missing daughter. Just as she reached to turn off her lamp, she heard a knock on her door. Groaning as she got out of bed and slipping on her house shoes, Olivia walked down the hall as the knocking persisted. Looking through the peephole she saw the one person she least expected. Fitzgerald Grant.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of your reviews. Hope you all enjoy the next chapter.**

* * *

"What do you want?" Olivia asked as she opened the door. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave Fitz a look he'd never seen before.

"We need to talk." Fitz stated simply. "Can I come in?"

Olivia stepped aside and allowed Fitz entry into her apartment. Nodding at Tom as she closed the door Olivia turned to face Fitz who was sitting on the couch, tugging at his hair. "I don't really see what's left to say. I think you've said enough." Olivia's tone was full of disdain.

"I'm sorry Livvie. I never meant to hurt you. I was just so angry about what you did." Fitz said softly.

"Don't give me that bullshit apology Fitz! You said exactly what you were feeling! The things you said to me in that church, you can't take them back like all will be forgiven. It doesn't work like that." Olivia began to pace back and forth like a caged animal. She was already regretting letting Fitz into her home.

"You can't see this from my point of view? You, the person I trusted most has been lying to me for years! You don't see that I have the right to feel betrayed?" Fitz closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You were the one that was supposed to have my back. You were the one who was supposed to be honest with me and put me in my place when need be. Not to be as conniving and underhanded as Mellie to get what you wanted."

Olivia cocked her head to the side and looked at the man she's loved for so long like she didn't even know him. For him to have the balls to actually compare her to his bitch of a wife set her off. "I know you're not in MY home comparing me to _that_ bitch! You have some fucking nerve Fitzgerald!" Olivia stopped pacing and walked over to stand in front of a still seated Fitz. "I'm sick of this shit from you. Your feelings get hurt and you act like a petulant child! Yes I did something wrong that I wish I could take back. But I can't! And I want to get you to understand why I did what I did but I'm starting to find it really hard to give a fuck about you feelings at the moment. You called me your mistress!" Olivia backed away and began to pace again. "Of all the hurtful, hateful words you could have said, you chose that one."

Fitz slightly cringed at the sound of the word "mistress". So many times he'd told Olivia to never call herself that and inside his own rage and anger he used that word to belittle her. "There is nothing I can say to take back calling you that. I wish I could. God knows I do. You know you are so much more to me than that Liv."

"I used to think I was more to you than that. But now, I'm not so sure. The way the words flowed out of your mouth, you meant what you said. That wasn't a spur of the moment thing. You thought about that. You planned on saying that. And you did it knowing it would crush me. Well Mr. President, you succeeded." Olivia wiped away the lone tear that streaked her face.

"Livvie, I…" Fitz stood up and walked it Olivia's direction. "I wanted you to hurt the way I was hurting."

"Do not come any closer!" Olivia yelled through her tears. "You don't get to come here and disrupt my life! Thinking that you saying how sorry you are would fix this. I had finally, _finally _decided to stop fighting us and to just be with you. Wait for you! And you purposely devastated me. You were cruel, almost hateful."

Fitz stopped moving but never let his gaze leave Olivia's face. "Sweet Baby, I'm so sorry. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"No! You don't get to call me that!" Olivia cried. "You can't keep doing this to me! I can't keep going back and forth with you. Why did you come here tonight? To keep punishing me for Defiance? To break my heart some more? Hmmm? Is that what you wanted to do? Get me all in my feelings and leave me crushed again? Wanted to call me your mistress again? Or this time were you going to just take it a step further and call me your whore?"

"I would never call you that. I would never even dream of thinking about you in that way. Is that what you think you are to me? Baby, I love you. You'd never be something that low to me." Fitz extended his arm out and stroked the side of Olivia's face. Olivia momentarily closed her eyes and put her hand on top of his. She wanted to get lost in his touch and forget the pain and heartache she was feeling, but his words just kept running through her mind. She couldn't let him just waltz back into her life like all was forgiven. Olivia opened her eyes and stepped out of the embrace. She raised her right hand and slapped Fitz across the face as hard as she could, his cheek reddening immediately. Seeing the shock spread across his face, Olivia raised her right hand and brought it across Fitz's face again.

"I hate you for doing this to me! To us!" Olivia cried, sitting on the couch. "But this is what I wanted. Painful, devastating love. Should've been careful what I wished for."

Fitz just stood and looked at Olivia as she rambled. Was this what Cyrus meant by him destroying everything he loved? Because the woman who sat before him crying was the definition of destroyed and he knew he was the cause of it. "Olivia, look at me." She looked up and Fitz had never felt so small. Here the strong, powerful, beautiful woman that he knew and loved looked so broken that he could hardly breath. His legs began to get weak and his lungs constricted, fighting to pump air through his body. He dropped to his knees and laid his head in Olivia's lap. He let his unshed tears go and cried as he held onto her legs for dear life. "I can fix this Livvie. Please let me fix us. I need you. I can't get through this without you. I need us again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for marrying Mellie. I'm sorry for Amanda Tanner. I'm sorry for pushing you into Edison's arms. I'm sorry for saying all of those hurtful things to you. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I'm sorry for every bit of pain I've ever caused you. Please baby. Please!"

Olivia leaned her head back, resting it on the back of her couch, covering her face with her hands as she cried harder, sending trembles throughout her body. "I'm so tired Fitz. I'm tired of shedding tears over you. I'm tired of having to love you from a distance. I don't think I have anything left to give. I can't keep this tug of war going with you. I'm losing my mind over this shit. A few days ago you looked at me as if you hated me. And right now, in this moment, I _hate_ you!" Olivia attempted to push Fitz away from her but he only tightened his hold on her.

"No." Fitz whispered. "I can't. I can't let go. You told me just the other day that you couldn't let go. Well baby, neither can I. You're all I have left besides my children that feels right. I can't. You're my lifeline. I'm drowning here Liv. I can't find my way back to the top without you. I need you to help me. I need you."

"I can't save you and lose myself in the process! You're going to have to save yourself now. I'm done. I won't become your Anna again." Olivia tried to pry Fitz's arms from around her legs. He still wouldn't let go. This was absolutely ridiculous. Two of the most powerful people in the world were in her living room crying and blubbering like babies. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic and heartbreaking.

"Never were you my Anna. You're the love of my life. The only woman that can say you have my heart. I wish you were my wife. The mother of my children. The one the world referred to as the First Lady of this country." Fitz looked into Olivia's eyes and gave a slight smile. "What do I have to do to make this right? Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. I'll do everything in my power to fix us."

"Right now I hate you. I don't want to love you. I don't want to think about you. I don't want to feel your hands on me. I want you to release this hold you have over me. Break the spell you've cast on my heart. Pardon me from this prison you have me in. Let me just breathe." Olivia pushed Fitz's arms away and stood up. As soon as she did, nausea hit her in a wave and she was sprinting to her bathroom before the contents of her stomach spilled out of her mouth. Hearing her get sick, Fitz quickly followed the sound and found Liv on her knees in front of her toilet heaving. Squatting down, he rubbed soothing circles on her back with one hand as he used the other to pull her hair away from her face. Once he was sure Olivia was ok, Fitz stood up and extended his hand to help her up. She refused his help and went to the sink, brushing her teeth.

"I can't leave you like this. You're so upset. I can't go home and leave you devastated like this." Fitz sighed and closed his eyes for a minute. "I don't blame you for hating me. I hate myself too. I drink to try to numb the pain. To somehow relieve the feeling that I have in my chest when I think about you. It feels as if something is sitting on my chest and affecting my ability to breathe. I'm barely making it through the day. At night I can't sleep so I drink. At breakfast I can't eat so I drink. I'm consumed by all thoughts of you and I don't want to think of you and the betrayal and the pain so I drink. I can't even spend time with my newborn because I'd rather drink. I don't want to ruin him. He's so innocent and lately I've been destroying everything around me."

"I honestly don't care Fitz! You want to drink yourself into oblivion, go right ahead. I can't coddle you anymore. You're a grown man. The damn PRESIDENT! You need to get your shit together. I can't fix or save you anymore. That's all on you. I've done all I'm willing to do. We've been at it for hours. I'm so drained I can barely think straight. It's time for you to leave. Go back to your wife. I'm no longer your concern. I'm a big girl. I know how to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I suggest you figure out how to pull yourself up by yours." Olivia brushed past Fitz on her way to the living room. She could hear his footsteps behind her. She wanted him out of her space. This was a place of solace for her and he'd destroyed that by coming there tonight.

"We are not done. The very though of that is unacceptable. I know what I said to you before Verna's funeral contradict what I'm saying now, but it's true." Olivia had her back to Fitz with her hand on the doorknob. He pressed the front of his body into her back and rested his hand on top of hers. Putting his other hand on her stomach, he put his nose to her hair and breathed in her scent. He removed his hands from her long enough to turn Olivia to face him. Looking deep into her red rimmed eyes, Fitz pulled her close and felt her immediately tense up in his arms. Bending his head slightly, he brushed his lips across Liv's. He wrapped his arms around her body, running his hands up and down her back as he deepened the kiss.

Olivia, as if it was second nature, brought her arms up and wrapped them around Fitz's neck and ran her fingers through his hair. "Stop." Olivia moaned as she pulled away from the kiss. "You need to leave! This is just too much! Why do you keep pulling me back in?!" Olivia could feel another wave of tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. But she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall.

"Wait for me. Please Olivia, just wait for me. I mean it. I'm done fighting with you. I want you. I love you. I need you. Always, only you. I need to fix this. I can't stand to see you like this. I forgive you for Defiance. I understand why you did it. You were the only one that had nothing to gain by me winning. You're the one that lost something when I won. Let me give you what you lost that night. Let me give you me. Let me make this right. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. Free of pain and devastation." Fitz pleaded. He'd do anything to take her pain away.

"Why couldn't you have said this before thinking I did this to hurt and betray you? Why couldn't you let me say what I had to say before you decided to take a hatchet to my heart? Why did you try to degrade and demean me by calling me your mistress, knowing how I felt about that subject? You want to talk about being free of pain and devastation? Well let me tell you what you can do Mr. President. You can walk out of this building, go home and forget about me. Lose my phone number. Forget my address. If you see me in public, look away. If you hear my voice, cover your ears. If you smell the perfume I wear, cover your nose. Be done with me. Because after the night I just had with you, I want you out of my fucking life. Mr. President, We. Are. Done!" Olivia opened the door, looking Fitz dead in the eyes.

Fitz walked out the of the door but paused to look back at Olivia. "Goodbye Sweet…" The door slammed in his face before he could finish his sentence. "Baby." Fitz whispered wiping his eyes. He didn't know how he was going to fix the mess that was his relationship with Olivia, but he had to do something. He couldn't keep going like he was.

* * *

**A/N: You know the old saying "It get worse before it gets better."? Well this is the getting worse part. They have to get out all of the pain and anger before they can heal.**


	5. Chapter 5

"How long has she been sitting there like that?" Abby asked Harrison as they looked into Olivia's office through the glass. She had her chair turned facing the window in her office.

"I don't know. She was like that when I got here at 8. And it's now 10:45. I don't know what the hell is going on, but whatever it is, it isn't good. I'll handle it." Harrison gave Abby a weak smile as he knocked on Liv's door.

"Come in." Olivia said, never turning around to see who it was.

"Liv, are you alright? You've been in the same spot for hours. You're starting to worry us." Harrison's voice was full of concern.

"If I told you I was fine, would you all just stop watching me through that damn glass?!" Olivia shouted.

"We're just concerned. We've never seen you like this before. Did…did Edison do something to make you upset?"

Olivia spun around in her chair but held her head down. She didn't want to look at Harrison because if she did, she didn't think she'd be able to keep her tears at bay. The last 12 hours had been so emotionally and physically draining she didn't know if she was coming or going. After Fitz left her apartment at 5 am, she curled up in a ball in her bed and cried. And when she got in the shower that morning, she cried some more. She had shed tears she didn't even think she had. "No, it's not Edison. Harrison, I love you all for being so concerned but I'm going through something right now that I need to deal with on my own." Olivia spun back around and resumed looking out of the window.

"Didn't I tell you that whatever you need, I've got you? Hmm? Liv I know something is wrong. You have your stuff that you don't talk about and that's fine. It really is. We all do, but this is eating away at you. I won't pry but just know that if you want or need to talk to someone, you've got me." Harrison put his hand on Olivia's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

Hearing Harrison open the door Olivia spoke. "I fucked up really bad Harrison. And I can't fix it. Not this time. This is the one thing I just can't fix."

Harrison closed the door, closed the blinds to the glass that was Olivia's office and sat on the couch waiting for her to continue. "Liv, whatever it is, it can't be that bad."

"I broke his heart." Olivia whispered as she turned to face Harrison for the first time since he'd been in her office. "I broke that man's heart and I can't un-break it." Olivia dabbed her eyes with the tissue that she clutched.

"What happened between you and Edison? Did you turn down his proposal? Is that how you broke his heart?"

"No, not Edison." Olivia sighed, contemplating if she was going to continue or not. After a few minutes of silence, she continued. "Fitz…I broke Fitz's heart."

Harrison sat in stunned silence. He didn't know Olivia had been dating anyone else. "Fitz who?" He asked before it dawned on him. "Liv, no. The president?"

Olivia nodded her head yes and looked away from Harrison, in fear of seeing a judgmental look on his face. She couldn't believe that she had just confessed that to Harrison. But she had to talk to someone. All of the lies and secrets were starting to eat away at her. "He knows what I did."

Harrison knew what she was talking about. They had figured it out a few weeks ago. "If you broke his heart then that must mean that he loves you. You can't break someone's heart if they haven't given it to you."

"I'm in love with him. And I hate him. I die a little inside everyday." Olivia looked at Harrison and gave him a smile that never reached her eyes.

"Liv, I'm not gonna judge you because you love him. We all do things in life sometimes that we aren't proud of. I mean look at who work here. None of us are perfect. Far from it." Harrison walked over to her desk and put his hand on top of Olivia's and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Thank you for listening and not judging me. I really needed to get that off my chest." Olivia got up and wrapped her arms around Harrison, giving him a tight hug.

* * *

Fitz was in the nursery with his son, lost in the little bit of time he actually had that day to just relax. He'd been thinking about Olivia non stop since he left her apartment in the wee hours of the morning. And the nausea he felt since hadn't let up. His only piece of happiness was in the form of the beautiful little boy he held snuggled against his chest. "I hope you become a better man than I am Teddy. I hope you never hurt the people you love the way I have. Never do something because it's what's expected of you. Never settle. In life or in love. Wait until you find the love of your life before settling down. It's one of the best feelings in the world to be in love and know that that person is equally in love with you." Fitz gently rubbed his now sleeping son's head. As he rocked the baby, Fitz leaned his head back against the back of the rocking chair. He closed his eyes and could see Olivia crying. That image would haunt him forever. How did things get so fucked up? He was so close to having the life he dreamed of. He was going to divorce Mellie and finally be with Olivia. He was so close to finally feeling like he was truly alive. And then in one swoop, Verna delivered blows that rocked his world and shook him to his core. Shaking his head and refocusing on his son, Fitz kissed the top of Teddy's head then stood and placed him in his crib. As he walked out of the nursery, he saw Mellie come in from the hallway. They had been avoiding each other after their fight the other day. And Fitz was fine with that.

"Is Teddy sleeping?" Mellie asked not looking at Fitz.

Yes. I just put him down." Fitz could feel the nausea once again rise in his gut.

"Good. Good." Mellie said. She bounced from one foot to the next, the hallway full of awkward silence. "Where were you last night? The baby wouldn't stop crying and I sent the nurse to the Oval to find you, because you can calm him down when no one else can, and you weren't there. So _dear_, where were you?"

"I wasn't here." Fitz answered. He didn't feel like getting into it with Mellie. Especially after the peaceful moment he had just shared with their son.

"Judging by the fact that you smell like the bottom of a bottle of scotch and you look like fresh hell, I'd say you went to see Olivia. And that she kicked your pathetic ass out of her life. Not that I blame her. The way you are carrying on his disgraceful Fitzgerald!" Mellie hissed hatefully. She'd never miss the opportunity to kick her husband when he was down. Especially when it involved Olivia Pope.

Fitz grabbed Mellie by the arm and pulled her into the living room. He was fed up with her bullshit. "I'm pathetic?! Really Mel? When you're the one who would rather be the other woman than lose you precious title of First Lady! You're so threatened by Olivia that you will do and say anything you think will hurt me. Well let me tell you something, you can't hurt me anymore than I've already hurt myself. I've put Olivia through HELL and she still loves me. I've blamed her for Defiance and placed all of the blame on her. And guess what? She still loves me. Even when I don't deserve the love she gives me. And I have to fix that. I have to earn her trust back just like she has to earn back mine. And I'm going to do that or die trying. First step, you and I _will_ be divorcing. And you can kick and scream and threaten but I don't care. I will get custody of my children. I will remain president. And I will do whatever it takes to make sure Olivia is by my side when this is all settled. I'm tired of everyone else running my life!"

Mellie stood there with her mouth agape in total shock. She couldn't believe what was happening. "If you think I'm going to let you just divorce me and leave me with _nothing_, you are sadly mistaken. I will tell the press and anyone that will listen about how you've been cheating on me with Olivia for years. I will drag her name through the mud and make sure she couldn't get a job fixing a sandwich, let alone someone else's life. And if you think I'd let you take my children so you and Olivia can become a ready made family think again! I'd bury you and dance on your grave first."

"You better make sure you're ready to follow through with these threats Mel. Because I'm coming for you guns blazing. And if you _ever _threaten Olivia again, you'd wish you were dead. Don't believe me? Just watch!" Fitz slammed the door so hard that it sounded like a gunshot. He was absolutely fed up with Mellie's shit. He had tunnel vision and all he could see was his presidency, his children and Olivia. The only three things that really mattered to him.

* * *

It had been three weeks since she'd seen him. Three weeks since they fought, cried, yelled and screamed at her apartment. And beside the three weeks he was in a coma, it was the longest three weeks of Olivia's life. She though time would make her hate Fitz more. But it didn't because the opposite of love wasn't hate, but indifference. And that was one emotion she'd never feel for Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. She'd been doing any and everything she could to get him out of her head. She threw herself into her work. Hell she even found a hobby, swimming. But it just wasn't enough. He was in her dreams and nightmares. He consumed all of her thoughts. "Why can't I just get over him?" Olivia asked herself out loud. She put her hands over her mouth and screamed. Her life was officially in shambles.

"We've got incoming!" Olivia heard Huck yell from the hallway.

The elevator doors opened and a man stepped off. His skin was the color of caramel and he stood about six feet tall. Walking out of her office to see who it was, Olivia froze in place, blinking her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "Darren? What in the hell are you doing here?!" Olivia smiled as she went to hug the man.

"Well I just moved back to town and had to come see you. Gosh it's been what, 7-8 years? You were with that silly looking dude." Darren smiled. "Whatever happened to him? Please don't tell me you married him. You could've really did so much better."

Olivia took in the man who was smiling before her. She met Darren when she was in undergrad at Georgetown. They ran with the same group of friends and even went on a few dates but it lead to nothing. They realized they were better off as friends. "No I didn't marry him. But he asked…twice." Olivia laughed. It was her first real laugh in three weeks. "Come on into my office so you can tell me what brought you back to DC."

"Damn Liv! You've done really well for yourself. Talk about becoming a real power player. I've been keeping tabs on you. I'm proud to say that I know you and consider you a friend. I knew you'd do really great things in life. You kicked ass in every debate you did in college." Darren smiled again.

Olivia had to admit that the years had definitely been good to Darren. He had always been handsome, but now he was officially gorgeous. The caramel skin, hazel eyes, and dazzling smile…Olivia's mind began to wonder. "So, are you going to tell me why you're back in DC? Last I heard you were in New York terrorizing prosecutors."

"Well I was." Darren laughed. "But my firm had an opening here in the DC office and I decided to come back home. There was nothing keeping me in New York."

"Oh I know there had to have been someone. You were always a ladies man." Olivia could remember all of the women who threw themselves at Darren in college.

"There were a few. But no one special. Nobody could hold a candle to you."

"Excuse me?" Olivia said in total shock.

"Come on! You knew I always had a thing for you. I just didn't act on it because we were friends and I valued that. But I feel like you're the one that got away."

"Darren…that was so long ago. There had to have been someone in all that time that you loved."

Olivia was a little uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed.

"Of course. But she wasn't you. I always wonder where I would be if I had pursued you. And I don't see a ring on your ring finger, so I'm assuming you're single. Because only a fool would be with you and not make you his wife." Olivia just looked at Darren but remained silent. "Ok I'm going to take that as a yes on being single. So how about we go to dinner tonight to catch up a bit more."

Olivia thought about it for a few minutes. What was the harm in going out to catch up with an old friend? "Sure."

* * *

**A/N: I think Fitz really crushed Olivia's soul with the mistress comment and it's going to take so much from him to get her to respect him again. And she truly does feel a little bit of hate for him even though the main emotion is still love. Will Darren become just a simple distraction or something more?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

Olivia smiled as she read the card that came with the flowers Darren had sent her. It simple read _"Just because it's Wednesday. D." _It had been two months since he'd came back in DC and Olivia was really glad. He'd been a great distraction from Fitz. He was affectionate, caring and he respected her. Picking up her office phone, she dialed his number and he picked up on the second ring.

"I assume you got my little surprise." Darren said smiling.

"Yes, and they are beautiful." Olivia slightly blushed. Calla lilies were her favorite flower. "Thank you."

"Not nearly as beautiful as you are. And there is no need to thank me. I like doing things for you just because. I mean that's what boyfriends do for their girlfriend." Darren stated. He and Olivia hadn't really talked about being a couple. But that's what he thought they were.

"So, I'm your girlfriend?" Olivia asked.

"Yes. I mean we've been dating for two months. We spend a lot of time together and I don't want to be with anyone else. Do you?"

Olivia immediately thought about Fitz. But too much had been done and said for them to go back. Shaking her thoughts of her former lover, Olivia answered "No. I don't want anyone else. You're it." Olivia said trying to convince herself more so than Darren. They talked a few more minutes and made plans to have lunch later that day.

* * *

"Mellie, I need you to sign the damn papers! I'm sick of you dragging your ass about this. Why do you want to stay where you're not wanted? Just let it go." Fitz ran his hands over his face and plopped down his side of the bed. A month ago he discreetly filed for divorce with the help of Cyrus. And ever since he gave the papers to Mellie she'd been on the warpath.

"Fitzgerald, I will do no such thing. We are married and will remain so. If you try to pull a stunt like this again I swear I will _kill_ you!" Mellie hissed. "You think that if we divorce then your precious Olivia will come running back into your arms?" She walked over to her nightstand and pulled out a large envelope and threw it in Fitz's direction. "I think what's in that envelope says otherwise." Mellie sat down on the couch across the room with a victorious smile on her face.

Fitz slowly picked up the envelope, looking at Mellie cautiously. Opening the package and pulling out the contents he saw that they were pictures. Pictures of Olivia and some unidentified man, all time stamped. They were smiling at the Lincoln Memorial in one. Others had them holding hands as they walked down the street. Them out to dinner. Them kissing. And the one that got to Fitz the most, them entering Olivia's apartment building and the man leaving the next morning. "What the fuck is this?!" Fitz's voice boomed throughout the room.

"I felt you needed to know that your mistress had finally moved on." Mellie said in a joyous tone. She was taking great pleasure in her husband's heartache.

"You had her followed? How low can you stoop Mel?!" Fitz was reeling. Olivia was with someone else. His head began to pound and his stomach began flipping. "Why did you do this? Why show me these pictures? You must really hate me!"

"I told you we are _not _divorcing, especially since you now have no to reason to want a divorce. Now you better buck up and get back in line Fitzgerald. I'm done with this nonsense." Mellie sashayed out of the room triumphantly.

Fitz hung his head, fresh tears stinging his eyes. She looked happy. In every single picture, Olivia looked happy. It made Fitz literally sick that Olivia was with another man. Jumping up quickly, he ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach.

* * *

"Tom!" Fitz yelled from the Oval. It had been less than 24 hours since Mellie gave him the pictures of Olivia and he wanted to know who the hell this man was that she had been seeing.

"Sir?" Tom asked as he entered the room.

"I need something to be handled. And it needs to be discreet Tom." Fitz sighed. "Olivia Pope is dating a man. I don't know who he is but I want surveillance on them both. I want his name, age, where he works, where he lives, what kind of car he drives. I want to know how often he's out with Olivia. I want to know everything. Do I make myself clear Tom?" Fitz handed a picture to Tom. "This is the man. I want an update within the hour."

Tom nodded his head and exited the room. Fitz walked over to the decanter of scotch that he hadn't touched in two months. Picking up a glass, he filled it and emptied it's contents in two gulps. He repeated that three times. And with each glass, his anger and heartache intensified. In that moment he hated Mellie. Literally hated the bitch. She showed him the pictures knowing it would crush him. And Olivia…she had moved on. Fitz walked over to his desk and sat down. He unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out a framed picture. It was of him and Liv from the trail. They both were smiling. That picture had got him through many dark days. But it couldn't get him through this. This was just too much pain to overcome. He threw the photo across the room, it shattering as it made contact with the wall, just like his heart.

* * *

"Sir I think you need some time away. You're ticking." Cyrus said as they entered the Oval.

"Really Cyrus? You think I don't know that?" Fitz said as he poured a glass of scotch. He'd been drinking like a fish for the past two weeks.

"You went months without looking at a drink, now two weeks ago you start drinking harder than ever. And you only tick about one thing and _that_ is Olivia Pope."

Fitz rolled his eyes and sat at his desk, glass in hand. Tom had been giving him daily updates on Olivia and Darren Miles. He hated that man almost as much as he hated Mellie and he'd never even met him. "I'm fine Cy! Just let it go!"

"No you are not fine and no I will not let it go sir!" Cyrus was fed up. "You're going to Camp David alone this weekend. No Mellie, no staff. Just you and the Secret Service. You need to get away before you implode."

"There is only one way I'll go." Fitz looked at Cyrus and Cyrus groaned. He already knew what Fitz was asking.

"I can't make her come. What do you want me to do? Kidnap he and drag her to Camp David? Fitz she's moved on." Cyrus said sympathetically.

"Cy I just need 10 minutes to talk to her. She hasn't spoken to me in months. I just need to see her and hear her voice. I'm dying inside more and more everyday that passes and she's not here."

"I'll see what I can do. But sir, you will be going to Camp David this weekend whether you like it or not. That's not up for debate." Cyrus exited the room. Those two were going to be the death of him.

* * *

"Cyrus this better be important. I had to break a lunch date to meet with you." Olivia said as she kissed Cyrus on the cheek and sat in the chair across from him. He insisted on taking her out to lunch.

"I need you to come to Camp David this weekend. There is a problem with the new Attorney General appointment. Since Malloy's health declined so rapidly, we're scrambling and we need you on this. Please?" Cyrus knew this was a long shot. But Fitz drinking himself to death had to stop.

"Oh no! I'm not going there!" Olivia whispered harshly. She knew Fitz would be there and that was just too much to deal with.

"Liv, you're the best person to handle this. Everyone falls in line when you're running the show. Just do this please. Whatever you normally charge, we'll triple it."

"It's not about the money Cy, you know that. I…I can send Harrison in my place." Olivia tried to reason.

"Nobody is going to want to listen to that baby lawyer. He's not the great Olivia Pope. We need you in on this."

Olivia sighed and closed her eyes. Cyrus could always talk her into doing things she really felt she shouldn't. "I can come Saturday morning. And I will not be spending the night. By 8 I plan on being back home."

* * *

As soon as he walked through the doors to his cabin at Camp David that Friday evening, Fitz hit the bar. Cyrus had made sure all of his favorite foods were there but all Fitz cared about was the scotch. The more he drank the more his thoughts fell to Olivia and all the time they'd spent here. Working on speeches by day and making love in her cabin by night. God he missed her. He didn't think it would physically hurt to be away from someone until he met and fell in love with her.

* * *

10 am. That's what time it was when Olivia stopped at the gates of Camp David. After being cleared to enter, Olivia drove up to the main cabin and noticed no other vehicles. And she knew Cyrus had lied to her to get her to come.

"Ms. Pope." Tom said as he opens her door. He gives her a small smile as an apology. For what, he doesn't know.

"It's alright Tom. Where is he?" They both know the 'he' she's asking about. Tom motioned for Olivia to follow him and what she sees breaks her heart. Fitz is sitting on the couch with three glasses lined up, filling each with scotch and downing them like water then repeating the process. He's still in his dress pants and dress shirt. His tie and jacket are haphazardly draped over the back of the leather chair facing the French doors leading to the patio.

"So are you trying to drink yourself to death?" Olivia ask. She looks at Tom, silently telling him that she can handle it from now on. He nods and leaves the room.

"Why the fuck do you care?!" Fitz slurs angrily, never looking up from the table where he's pouring his drink. "You have a new boyfriend so worry about him!" Fitz downs all three glasses and reaches to refill them when Olivia snatches the bottle out of his hands and walks outside to pour out the contents of the decanter.

"Why do you care Olivia?! In your apartment I was on my knees begging you to give us a chance and you basically spit on me! You told me you hated me! You left me broken then you moved on!" Fitz said in what sounded like one breath. "So go be with Darren. You met him at Georgetown. He's 36 and works at Williams, Thornton and Sullivan. Moved from New York a couple months ago. He drives a silver Range Rover. And in the past two weeks you've spent four nights at his Georgetown townhouse." Fitz spat out angrily and slurring. Venom and heartbreak dripping with each word he said.

"You've had me followed?!" Olivia yells, fuming. "How dare you follow us?! What I am or am not doing, who I am or am not screwing isn't any of your fucking business since all we were doing was 'screwing'." Olivia threw his words back at him.

"So, is he everything you're ever wanted in a man? Is he everything you've dreamed of?"

Olivia walks over and lifts Fitz's head up so their eyes can meet. Looking deep into his grey orbs, she answers. "Yes." Olivia steps away and continues. "He cares about me. He's never degraded or disrespected me. He respects me and he's _never _made me feel like I'm his mistress. He just sees me as Liv, the woman he loves."

Fitz winces at the word love. Putting his head in his hands and tugging his hair. "No man will ever love you the way I love you Livvie.

Olivia looks down at Fitz and begin to laugh, but it quickly turns into tears. "If the way you love me is what Darren should aspire to, then I'd rather be single. Because the disrespectful, hateful, cruel shit you've said to me is so far from love, I just can't.." Olivia began to pace back and forth.

After watching her pace silently for 20 minutes, wearing out the soles of undoubtedly a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes, Fitz finally speak. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Liv. Baby, I'm begging you to please give me one last chance. I promise I'll make this all better for us. I know it'll take time and I'll wait, but please just say you'll give me one more chance. I need you to let me try. Try to fix what I've broken. Let me fix your heart."

"We can't go backwards and we can't go forward. Too much has been said and done Fitz." Olivia says tearfully. "The trust we once had is gone and I just don't have it in me to do this again with you. Just please finally let me go."

"I can't. I did it once but I can't do it again. I won't survive it baby. I need you like I need my next breath. I can't let go. I'll fight for you, for us. I can't give you up. You're imprinted in my heart."

Tired of pacing, Olivia sits on the opposite end of the couch from Fitz and looks at him. "I'm with Darren now. He makes me happy."

"This is just like with Edison. You're trying to get over me but what we feel for each other is so rare that you can't just not try again." Fitz scoots closer to Olivia and covers her left hand with his right.

"See that's where you're wrong. It's not like with Edison. Because with Edison there was no love. And I think I'm falling in love with Darren." Olivia admitted. She quickly withdrew her had from Fitz's.

Tears immediately prick Fitz's eyes and he goes into the kitchen. He has to put space between himself and Olivia. He knocks everything off the counter, canisters and food go lying to the floor. His mind is racing and his heart is pounding in his chest so fast it feels as if it's about to burst. Fitz slides down the wall and sits on the floor, the never ending stream of tears streaking his face.

"Ms. Pope?" Tom says as he enters the room. He came as soon as he heard things crash to the floor.

Olivia puts her hand up to stop Tom from further entering the kitchen. He gives her a puzzling look but follows her directive. Olivia walks over to Fitz and her heart breaks all over again. He's sobbing, his body shaking.

"Get out Olivia! Go home!" Fitz chokes out through his sobs.

Olivia gently sits on the floor beside Fitz and wraps her arms around his middle, her own tears streaking her cheeks.

"Please don't leave me. I need you." Fitz sobs. "I don't think I can do this thing called life without you in it."

The heartbreak was too much for Olivia. She couldn't hold back any longer and began to sob with Fitz. "Ok." She says simply. "Ok."

Fitz looks at Olivia to make sure he didn't hear her wrong. She gives him a slight smile. It's not much but it's enough to let Fitz know it's a start. He puts his head in Liv's lap and she rubs his head, running her fingers through his hair. Closing his eyes, with his breath regulated and his sobs reduced to a steady stream of tears, Fitz finally speaks. "I love you so much. I love you more than anything in this world. You and my children are all that matter to me. All that I have left, the only things I truly treasure."

Olivia bends down and kissed the side of his head, her tears still streaking her face. "I love you too." She whispers in his ear.

They're sitting in the sea of their truth. It isn't pretty, but then again, the truth usually never is. Not when it comes to emotions and love like they share. And they sit in silence for what feels like hours, just listening to each other breathe. And like clockwork, they fall into sync. Olivia can feel the rise and fall of Fitz's body fall in line with her own. As if they were one heart. One heartbeat.

* * *

**A/N: Liv and Fitz have finally let everything out. Their hearts can't break anymore that it has right now. The truth wasn't pretty but it was necessary to begin to heal. It won't be all sunshine and roses because while Liv is in love with Fitz, her growing feelings for Darren are real. And you know Mellie won't give up her FLOTUS title without causing hell.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Liv, did you hear me?" Darren asked Olivia as he handed her a glass of wine.

"Oh I'm sorry. What did you say?" It had been three days since she had been to Camp David and had her emotional conversation with Fitz and that's all she could think about.

"I said, how about we get away this weekend. Just a little quick trip to New York. I still have a few loose ends to tie up. And then maybe we can catch a play or something." Darren sat down on the couch next to Olivia and grabbed her hand.

"Darren…you know this latest case has been kicking our asses. I don't think I can take time away from that right now." Even though the new case was stressful, Olivia didn't know how she felt after being at Camp David a few days ago. She liked the way Darren made her feel but her feelings for Fitz were ever present.

"Babe, I know that work has been stressful but you can't work yourself ragged. Your staff is more than capable of handling things. Being the boss sometimes mean that you have to delegate and trust that they will make the right decisions. Plus you'll only be a phone call away. I just want to have you to myself for a few days. Is it too much to ask that I can have a weekend away with the beautiful woman who's stealing my heart?" Darren brought Olivia's hand up to his lips and kissed it.

"You don't play fair. How can you tell me I'm stealing your heart and expect me to be able to say no after that." Olivia sighed. "I'll go. And I'll even try to not worry about work."

"Good. I just want you to know that this means a lot to me and that I love you. And before you say anything, I'm not saying it to pressure you into saying it back. I know that you'll say it when you're ready. And I'm a patient man. I'm in this for the long haul. I've wanted you from the moment we met all those years ago and now that I have a chance to be with you, I'm not going to waste it." Darren cupped the side of Olivia's face with his hand and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Olivia leaned into Darren's touch and put her hands on both sides of his face. "Thank you for being patient and not pressuring me. It shows how much you care. And Darren, I love you too." Olivia said leaning in and kissing him.

* * *

"Sir, she's in New York." Tom said as he entered the Oval office.

"What is she doing in New York?" Fitz asked as he put down the file he was reading and looked up at Tom."

"She went there for the weekend with Mr. Miles. They arrived earlier this evening and are staying at the Waldorf Astoria." Tom stated. He knew this news would be upsetting to the President.

"Thank you Tom. And you can stop the surveillance of Ms. Pope. I don't want to know anything else." Tom nodded and turned to exit as Fitz picked up the file and continued reading. As soon as the door closed he stood up and walked over to the table that held the decanter of scotch. Picking it up and looking at it, Fitz so badly wanted to just pour a glass and drown his sorrows but he didn't. He couldn't keep drinking like he had. Plus he had promised Olivia before she left Camp David that he wouldn't drink. And he was intent on keeping that promise. Sitting down at his desk he though back to the conversation he had with Olivia a few minutes before she left Camp David.

"_I want to thank you for coming here. You didn't have to do it. You don't owe me anything yet you came." Fitz gave Olivia a weak smile as they stood beside her car._

"_No, I owed it to you to hear what you had to say. I know I'm partly to blame for the state you're in and I have to accept responsibility for that. I hurt you more than anyone and I'm so sorry for that. That wasn't my intention."_

"_But the things I said to you were uncalled for. As a man, those things should have never left my mouth."_

"_We say and do things when we're hurt. And we usually hurt the people we love the most because they're usually the ones closest to us. And what I did can't be excused. Looking back now, you just wanted me to hurt as bad as you were. I don't agree with doing that, but Fitz, I understand. And I forgive you for what you said." Olivia gave him a reassuring smile._

"_And I forgive you for Defiance. I hate that you did it, because if you hadn't, we would be married with children now. But I understand why you felt the need to do it."_

"_Fitz…" Olivia whispered. "We can't do that. We can't say what would have happened. Let's not do that to ourselves."_

"_I know. It's just that Liv, I love you so much. I can't help it." Fitz closed the gap between them, wrapping his hands around Olivia's waist, pulling her body flush against his. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I'll love you until three days after forever. That will never change Liv. My Sweet Baby, I. Love. You." Fitz cupped her face and gently kissed her lips._

* * *

"Good job guys!" Olivia said as she entered the conference room. Her team had handled the case without much help from her while she was away in New York.

"We got you Liv!" Harrison said making everyone laugh. "You've taught us well."

"I know. But don't get too comfortable with me being away and you all running the office." Liv laughed as Abby groaned.

"You just keep doing Mr. Sexy and we'll keep doing what we're doing." Abby said being her usual unfiltered self.

Olivia rolled her eyes but smiled inwardly. _"That's Abby for ya."_ Olivia thought to herself as she walked into her office. Checking her cell phone she saw that she had a missed call from a private number and knew who it was. She hadn't spoken to Fitz since she saw him at Camp David. They had finally come to a place of forgiveness and understanding and she was fine with that. Picking up the phone she dialed a number and he picked up on the third ring.

"Liv, so nice to hear from you." Cyrus said. He noticed that Fitz's mood had dramatically increased since seeing Olivia.

"Yeah yeah Cy. Don't ever pull a stunt like that again." They both knew what she was referring to.

"I really want to thank you for that. You could've left when you realized I lied to you. But Liv I really needed you to see him."

"It was heartbreaking Cy. After I got there and saw him, I couldn't leave….How is he doing?" Olivia asked in a low voice, as if she didn't even want to hear herself ask the question.

"He's not 100% but better. He's not drinking anymore and he's more focused and more determined. He's filed for divorce Liv."

Olivia sat holding the phone completely stunned. "He did what?!"

"I thought he would have told you when you were together." Cyrus rubbed his face.

"No. We talked about a lot of things but that never came up. I can only imagine the hell Mellie is causing."

"That's part of the reason I'm calling. She's not causing hell, which has me uneasy. She's planning something. I can feel it in my soul. We need dirt on her just in case she won't go quietly. And we know she won't. Meet me in our spot tomorrow at 1:30 Liv." Cyrus hung up before Liv could answer.

* * *

"Mr. Miles, your presence is being requested in the conference room." His Tabitha assistant said.

As Darren entered the conference room he was shocked to see the First Lady. "Mrs. Grant?" Darren asked, wondering why the First Lady of the United States wanted to see him.

"Mr. Miles, it's a pleasure to meet you. I hear that you're one of the best litigators this firm has." Mellie said with a charming smile.

"Oh, thank you Mrs. Grant. How can I help you?" Darren sat across the table from Mellie.

"Darren, is it alright if I call you that?" Darren nodded his head yes and Mellie continued. "I have a little problem I need to discuss with you. It's concerning Olivia Pope."

Darren's attention was immediately peaked at the mention of Olivia. "With all due respect ma'am, what do we need to discuss in regard to Olivia?"

"Well her relationship with my husband for one." Mellie wasn't going to mince words with this man. "Here, take a look at these." Mellie handed Darren photos. It was Fitz leaving Olivia's apartment just before dawn a few months ago.

"Ma'am, I don't know what you are trying to say but if it's what I think it is…" Darren was cut off by Mellie.

"Darren, you're a smart man. And you know there shouldn't be a reason for my husband, the President of the United States, to be coming to your girlfriend's apartment. So ask yourself why he would risk that unless they were in love." Mellie smiled coyly.

"Mrs. Grant, I don't know what you're getting at but I don't appreciate you insinuating things about my girlfriend. I'm a very busy man and I don't have time to continue this meeting." Darren was silently seething. What was really going on between Olivia and the President.

"I understand. If you have any questions, feel free to call me on my personal cell phone. It's a secure line." Mellie slid a card across the table and exited the room.

"Tabitha, cancel everything for the rest of the day. I have something very important to tend to." Darren left in a huff.

* * *

"Where is Olivia?!" Darren asked as soon as he got of the elevator.

"Darren, what's wrong?" Olivia asked coming out of her office. He just looked at her, his hazel eyes piecing, as he walked into her office and closed the door after she followed.

"I had an interesting visitor this morning. The First Lady showed up at my office and gave this to me." Darren pulled the photo out of his pocket and held it up to Olivia's face.

Olivia immediately began to panic. "Darren…I just…"

"No! Are you fucking him Olivia?!" Darren asked in a harsh whisper. "Is he the guy that hurt you so bad you almost didn't want to date me." Olivia looked shocked at his statement. "Oh I knew there had to have been someone who hurt you bad. Because a woman like you aren't single just because. So were you with the President?"

"Darren, it was a long time ago. When I was on the campaign trail." Olivia sat down at her desk and rubbed her temples. She, at that very moment wanted to kill Mellie.

"Then why was he recently at your apartment. The date says it was before I came back but still. I need to know what the hell is going on." Darren sat down on the couch, his anger slowly subsiding.

"Something happened and Fitz found out about it. He wanted to know why I did what I did. And he knew I wouldn't answer his calls so he showed up at my apartment."

"You had an affair with him in the past?" Darren asked but he already knew the answer. Olivia nodded and he continued. "Do you still want him?"

"Darren, do you remember when I told you that you were it for me? I meant that. I could lie and say that I don't still have feelings for Fitz but I won't. I don't want our relationship to be built on lies and secrets. But I love you. I don't say those words lightly."

"Then why would the First Lady come to my office to show me this?"

Olivia sighed, debating if she should tell more or not. "I shouldn't say this because it's not public knowledge but I don't want to keep things from you. The President asked his wife for a divorce. And she's going to do anything she can to either stop it or destroy both Fitz and I in the process."

"I don't give a damn about what she does to her husband but I'm not going to let her hurt you. But don't think for a second I'm not pissed about this. But I can't judge you on your past. We all have one. I'm worried about you and him if his wife felt the need to seek me out. I have a feeling that I could be fighting a losing battle Liv."

"Darren, I want you. I've moved on. You're all I want." Olivia gave him a smile that never reached her eyes and Darren noticed it.

"Yeah if you had told me that six hours ago, I'd believed you. But now I'm not so sure. I feel like I'm losing you and I just got you." Darren offered Olivia a weak smile. "But I'm not going to abandon you. Because when you truly love someone you can't just simply walk away. And Olivia, I'm in love with you." He walked over and gave her a quick peck on the lips before leaving her office.

As soon as he got on the elevator, Olivia grabbed her purse and yelled to her team that she would be back. She was going to see Mellie. And it wasn't going to be pretty.


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia stormed into the White House on a mission. People spoke as she walked the halls but she didn't care to speak back. The only thing on her mind was ripping Mellie a new one. As she made her way down the corridor to the residents she was spotted by Cyrus.

"Liv what are you doing here?" Cyrus asked as Olivia walked past him as if she hadn't even seen him. He sped up to catch up to her and grabbed her by the arm. Seeing the look on her face, Cyrus immediately let go of her arm and Olivia continued walking.

"That bitch is going to learn I'm not to be fucked with Cy." Olivia mumbled as she continued to walk. She was seething. The fact that Mellie had went to Darren pushed her over the edge. Olivia walked into the residence's living room without knocking, slamming the door in Cyrus' face. A startled Mellie turned around to see an open hand coming for her face before she could react. The slap instantly causing her face to redden.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?!" Mellie yelled. "I could have your ass locked up for assaulting me!"

"You're lucky that it was only a slap. I had half the mind to knock your ass out!" Olivia began pacing. "How _dare_ you go to Darren's office! Don't try to undermine my relationship because yours has gone to hell!"

Outside the door, Cyrus pulled out his cell and called the Oval. He didn't want to go into the room without backup. "Sir, respectfully I'm telling you to get your ass to the residence this instant. Olivia and Mellie are fighting. And I think it may be literally, fighting going on."

Fitz could hear the yelling through the phone. "Cy, get in there and see why they are fighting. And keep them from killing each other. And do _not _let the Secret Service get involved." Fitz hung up the phone and shot up from his chair, practically running out of his office.

"Mellie, I'm only going to warn you once, Darren is off limits. You want to come after me, fine. But fuck with him again and it'll be the last thing you do. I'll bury your ass!" Olivia stepped to Mellie defiantly. Almost daring her do anything.

"Let me tell you something Olivia, you don't come to _my_ home and tell me to do anything! Not so fun when it's your relationship being fucked with is it?" Mellie smirked. Never one to pass up a chance to be a bitch.

"This didn't have anything to do with Darren! You did that to be spiteful. Did you think it would break us up? Well let me tell you, it didn't. I admitted everything to Darren because that's what you do when you care about someone and don't want them to be blindsided. He knows all about my past with Fitz."

"I don't quite think he knows everything. But I'll be more than happy to feel him in. And he's quite handsome. Who knows, maybe we can swap?" Mellie was going for the jugular.

As if she was having an out of body experience, Olivia lunged at Mellie, her hands immediately going for her throat. Hearing the screams and what sounded like furniture moving, Cyrus finally opened the door and saw the two women on the floor, Olivia on top of Mellie as if she was trying to choke the life out of her. "Olivia!" Cyrus yelled trying to pull her off Mellie.

"Cy I'm going to kill her! She's overstepped one too many times!" Olivia fought against Cyrus trying to pull her off Mellie. It was as if all she could see was red.

Fitz opened the door and immediately his heart fell. Mellie was sitting on the floor panting, hair disheveled, a red hand print across her face and her neck beet red. And Olivia was being physically restrained by Cyrus. Her chest was rising and falling so fast he thought it may actually come out of her chest. Her straightened hair was messy and her shoes were off. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Your bitch…"Olivia stopped to catch her breath and shrugged Cyrus' hands off of her. "…of a wife, she went to Darren's office and showed him a picture of you leaving my apartment after you found out about what we did. She is trying to sabotage my relationship with him and I'm not having it!"

"Fitz you better keep your mistress in line! She slapped me and tried to choke me out. I'm having her arrested and I'll make sure the media is alerted when I do so. It'll be on the evening news so fast it'll make your head spin!"

"That is enough! Mellie what in the hell did you think going to Darren would do? Besides pissing off Olivia of course." Fitz rubbed his temples. The beginning of a headache creeping up on him. Oh how he wished he could have a drink or three.

"It'll do about the same as you having Olivia watched even after you came from Camp David." Mellie watched the shock spread across Olivia's face and knew she didn't know about being watched.

"You were still watching me?!" Olivia turned her anger to Fitz. "What the hell is it with you two and the watching? Do you get some sick thrill out of knowing all the details of my life?"

"I just…I wanted to make sure you were doing fine and was happy." Fitz looked Olivia in the eyes and she looked away from him. He knew she was upset.

"That's not your place! You don't get to keep tabs on me like I'm yours. I'm not yours! How many times do I have to tell you that before you get it through your head?" Olivia stepped back into her shoes and went over to where her purse was on the floor and because to rummage through it looking for a comb and her compact.

"I told you she didn't want your pathetic ass anymore. I don't know why you don't listen to me." Mellie said, directing her comment to Fitz. "Women like that don't want pathetic, weak, whiny men like you. Hell I'm only with you because you're President."

"Will you all please just shut up!" Cyrus finally spoke. They had actually forgot he was in the room. "This is just ridiculous! You're all acting like overgrown children. And I expect more from each and every one of you."

"You're right Cyrus. My behavior today was so beneath me. I just couldn't help it." Olivia ran her hands over her hair, smoothing it down. "I'll call you later." She picked up her purse and coat and walked out of the room without another word.

"You are a piece of work Mel!" Fitz couldn't contain his anger anymore. "You've done a lot of dirt in your day, but this is rivaling the best of it."

"Oh please! Don't act like you've never gone to the extremes to get a desired reaction."

"I have. But this is just…wrong! Why go to Darren with pictures of me leaving Olivia's apartment? What did you think that would accomplish? That he'd break up with her. And then what? I'd still want a divorce."

"Why the hell are you still worrying about and trying to protect her?! I'm so sick of it! I warned you! Didn't I tell you we can't always get what we want? I don't give a damn about you wanting a divorce. I promise if you keep this up, I'll blow you away!" Mellie walked out of the room and slammed the door.

"Jesus God! What in the world are you going to do?" Cyrus asked.

"This is one time I just don't know. I'm so outdone. I can't even think straight. I mean Mellie has really crossed the line this time. And she's not done. I know she's not. And I'm scared for Liv. She's so emotional right now. I've never known her to become violent. It's only going to add fuel to Mellie's fire."

* * *

"Huck! Quinn! Abby! Harrison!" Olivia called out as soon as she stepped off the elevator. Her team came out of their offices and with one look, they knew something was wrong. "I need you all to start looking into Mellie Grant. I want to know everything about her. If she blew her nose and threw the tissue out of a car window, dammit I want to know! Leave no stone unturned." They all looked at Liv in stunned silence. "Huck I need to see you in my office please. The rest of you get to digging."

As the others went back to their offices, Huck entered Liv's office and closed the door. "What do you need me to do?"

"I messed up bad today. I literally put hands on the First Lady. I slapped and choked her." Olivia held her head down. Today definitely wasn't one of her finer moments.

"Whatever you need me to do, I can do it." Huck wasn't one to ask questions. He would just do what needed to be done.

"I need dirt on Mellie. And I need a lot of it. What I'm about to ask you is wrong and I really don't want to but I need this. I need you to hack into the camera's in Mellie's office. I need to know what she's planning."

* * *

"Hey." Darren said as he opened his front door.

"Hey." Olivia stood on the steps nervously. "I just wanted to talk to you about today. I'm so sorry about everything."

"Come in. We can talk about this over a glass of wine. I have a feeling we'll need it." Darren stepped aside and let Olivia in.

Taking off her coat placing it on the back of a chair, Olivia spoke. "I went to the White House after you left my office. I um…I attacked Mellie."

"What? You did what?" Darren asked flabbergasted.

"I slapped and choked her. I'm not proud of my actions but her involving you in this vendetta she has against me just enraged me. I literally saw red." Olivia ran her hands through her hair as she sat down on the couch.

"Wow! Never would have thought you'd get violent." Darren chuckled and it make Olivia laugh slightly.

"Neither did I. I just didn't appreciate her doing that. And the fact that she's been following me, us is just sickening. Then I found out it's a family affair because Fitz also had us followed."

"What the hell?! This is craziness!"

"I'm so sorry for pulling you into the circus that is now my life. You don't deserve this."

"I'm not. Is your life crazy right now? Most definitely it is. But I can't walk away from it, from you. Sometimes love is messy but if you're with the right person, you can clean it up together. I want you. I love you. I'm not going away." Darren scooted closer to Olivia and kissed her on the forehead. "I know earlier I said that I didn't believe you when you said that you wanted me but I do. At least part of me does."

"That's fair. And I know the news you got today will make you question things. But honestly, you've made me so happy these past few months. I didn't think another man could ever make me happy but then here you are. Back in my like and creeping into my heart. I want this to work. I want to be with you. It won't be normal, because I don't do normal. But I want us. I want you. I love you Darren. I meant it when I said it earlier and I mean it now."

"I believe that. I know you don't fight for things or people you don't love. And to actually assault the First Lady, yeah that proves a lot. It's going to take some time for me to wrap my brain around your past with the President, but I can't judge you on that. We all do things we're not proud of. We just have to learn from those things and try not to do them again. I'm trusting you with my heart Olivia. I'm hoping and praying you don't break it. But I'm willing to risk that because that's how much I love you. I know I could get hurt but I can't let you go." Darren cupped Olivia's face and kissed her softly. The kiss quickly deepened with Olivia wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to the couch with her.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of the reviews and faves. The next chapter will contain the much needed meeting between Fitz and Darren. Both men are in love wit Liv and she's still slightly torn because while she loves Darren and is truly starting to fall for him, Fitz is still in her heart and that won't change anytime soon. And Mellie is cooking up some ugliness that only she can.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! I want to address one review in particular. The person said that they felt like this was now a Olivia/Darren story because Liv loves ****Darren. Yes Olivia loves Darren, but she's IN love with Fitz and that doesn't just go away. She wouldn't have stayed with him at Camp David if she wasn't still in love with him. Darren is the anti Fitz. On paper, he's the perfect guy for Liv. He treats her like a queen and he can love her openly. But we know for Liv that's not enough. It's not that soul stirring, once in a lifetime love she has with Fitz. They don't breath in sync. **

**Oh and another thing. I know people were surprised with Liv attacked Mellie, but that just going to show that even the most put together people have a breaking point & Mellie going to Darren was Olivia's. You can only take so much shit before you erupt and Mellie just got a firsthand view of Hurricane Olivia. **

* * *

"Mr. Miles, thank you for coming. We have a lot to talk about." Fitz closed the door to the Oval. He had given his secretary strict instructions to not interrupt him or let anyone in unless it was literally a life or death situation.

"Well Mr. President, you asked me to come so here I am. You want to talk, so lets talk." Darren pulled off his overcoat sat down on one of the couches.

Fitz sat on the couch across from Darren, the coffee table separating them. Both men looked uneasy. They were after all in love with the same woman. "First I want to apologize for what Mellie did. That was uncalled for and totally inappropriate."

"Is that why you called me here Mr. President, to apologize for your wife's actions? Because if so, you could have done that over the phone. There was no need for us to take time out of our busy days to do that." Darren's tone was one full of annoyance.

"Darren, I also wanted to talk about Olivia." Fitz saw Darren's jaw tighten at the mention of Olivia.

"It's Mr. Miles Mr. President. We're not friends. Not even associates so there's no need to be on a first name basis. And what could we possibly have to discuss about _my_ girlfriend?"

"I'm sure you probably have questions about my relationship with Olivia. And I'm willing to answer them if need be."

"There is nothing I need to know about your _past_ relationship with Olivia that I can't ask her. Now lets cut the bullshit out and get down to it, man to man Mr. President. You're still in love with Olivia, am I correct?" Darren was becoming increasingly angry. He didn't like the man that sat in front of him at all.

"Yes I am. She's the love of my life. And I just can't let her go." Fitz admitted

"What do you want? You want me to just step aside so you can have her? If that's what you think is going to happen, then you're certifiably crazy!" Darren slammed his had down on the table and stood up. "I love Olivia too. And most importantly I make her happy. I don't have to hide her away like she's some dirty little secret. I can love her the way she deserves to be loved. I can tell the world how much she means to me. And let me make it clear, she means the _world_ to me!"

"I didn't call you here to argue with you Mr. Miles. I just wanted you to know were I stood in regard to my feelings for Olivia." Fitz looked up at the younger man but remained seated.

"With all do respect Mr. President, I don't give a damn about your feelings! You're a selfish asshole! You want Olivia but you don't really want the world to know you have her. You just don't want anyone else to have her. And the first moment you see she's moving on and could possibly be happy, you want to pull her back in. I mean that's the reason you wanted her to come to Camp David. Am I right?" Darren looked at Fitz and could tell he was surprised he knew about Olivia going to Camp David. "Don't look so surprised Mr. President. Olivia told me all about your emotional showdown. Since your wife decided to show up at my office, Olivia has opened up to me about her past with you. There are no secrets."

"You're right. It is selfish of me to want Olivia and still be president. But the heart wants what it wants. I can't let her go. You know she's a hard woman to forget and equally hard to get over."

"I suggest you start trying harder to get over her, because I have no intentions of letting Olivia go. So it seems that we're at an impasse." Darren grabbed his coat and left. There was nothing else that needed to be said.

After the door closed Fitz got up and sat at his desk, resting his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. He was so frustrated he wanted to scream. Darren's words were getting to him. _"I don't have to hide her away like she's some dirty little secret." _That bothered Fitz the most. Olivia was far from his dirty little secret but that's exactly how the press and media would describe her. A knock on the door jarred Fitz from his thoughts. "Come in."

"Sir, I just passed Darren Miles in the hall. To say his demeanor was less than pleasant would be an understatement so I'm going to assume you two talked and the subject was Olivia." Cyrus said standing in front of Fitz's desk with a couple files in his hand.

"Cy, I really don't want to talk about it. Not right now." Fitz ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "But I have a feeling you're going to talk about it anyway so lets do it and get it over with."

"This situation has gone straight to hell. With Olivia physically attacking Mellie last week did you really think it was a good idea to meet with Darren _alone_?"

"I wasn't afraid Cy. It's not like he was going to kill me with the Secret Service right outside the door."

"That's not the point. When it comes to affairs of the heart, people don't act rationally. Anything but. You should know that more than anyone." Cyrus gave Fitz a pointed look. "I know you love Liv, but maybe whatever you two shared has passed. It may be time to just let go."

"No! That woman is the love of my life Cyrus. I can't just let her go. She's inside of me. Every part of my heart is consumed with her. I may as well cut off my arm than let her go."

* * *

"What?" Olivia said answering her phone.

"You up for a little company?"

"Are you outside my door? Olivia asked sighing. She already knew the answer to that question. Only her sister Jasmine called after she showed up and not before like normal people. She hung up the phone and answered the door. "Jazzy, why didn't you call first. What if Darren was here?"

"Because I know you and the way you sounded when I talked to you earlier, I knew you needed your little sister to come and try to fix what was wrong." Jasmine chuckled as she hugged her sister. " So lets crack open a bottle of wine, get a bowl of popcorn and get to the crux of what is the clusterfuck you call your love life."

* * *

"Liv, you did not really jump on the First Lady?!" Jasmine choked out, the wine she was drinking almost shot out of her mouth.

"I know. I know. I was just so angry. I could have killed her." Olivia hung her head in mock shame.

"You know that's more my speed than yours." Jasmine laughed. "But seriously Liv, you need to get a handle on these men of yours. Who do you want?" Jazz had known about Fitz almost from the start. Even thought there was a seven age difference between the sisters, they were extremely close.

"Honestly Jazzy, I love them both. But it's different, you know. Darren is a great guy and he's so sweet and attentive. And with him its easy. There's no sneaking around. If I want to kiss him when we're out in public I can. I can hold his hand and do all the 'normal' couple stuff. And there's Fitz…and I've never loved a man more than I love him. But it's not easy and it's messy and complicated and painful. But It's also intense and passionate and soul stirring."

"Oh how I don't envy you. What does your heart say Liv?" Jasmine squeezed her sister's hand and gave her a smile. "You know whatever you decide, I'm in your corner to root you on if it works and to eat popcorn and drink until we can't drink anymore if it doesn't."

"I wish I knew what to do. I'm so torn. Darren made me love again after I thought I'd never do it again. But…"

"But Fitz is the love of your life. And no matter how hard to try to get him out of your system, you just can't. You can't string them along forever. One of them is going to get hurt. You just need to decide what do you want. You want easy, convenient love or do you want that soul stirring, painful, devastating, once in a life time love?"

"I want Fitz." Olivia said simply. "I want that man more than anything in this world. But he's not mine to have Jazzy."

"He's already filed for divorce. And you've proven you can more than handle his crazy bitch of a wife. Stop being afraid of the what ifs and just go with what's in your heart. Stop running from this. You won't find someone you love like this again. Stop trying to be logical about this. The type of love you say you and Fitz have is anything but logical because if it was, you two never would have started up in the first place. Now here's what we're going to do. We're gonna finish this popcorn and wine, and tomorrow you're gonna end whatever this is you have going with Darren and then you're gonna go get your man. No ifs, ands or buts about it. And if you have any trouble with old Mellie, let little sis handle it. If she thought you were a pain in her ass, she doesn't want to see me." Both sisters laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia sat on her couch nervously waiting for Darren to arrive. She had decided once and for all that she wanted to be with Fitz and she was ending things with Darren, _tonight_. But if her decision was so final, why did Olivia feel like maybe she was making a mistake? Was it that deep down she didn't think her and Fitz had what it took to be a real couple? _"No, Liv you can't keep doubting this. This is meant to be." _Olivia said to herself as the doorbell rang. She immediately opened the door to a smiling Darren and Olivia felt her stomach flip, her nerves wrecking her.

"Hey beautiful. I got your favorite wine. After the past couple of days, I think we both could use a drink." Darren kissed Olivia on the lips and headed for the kitchen in search of a corkscrew and wine glasses. "You know, your _ex_ is a motherfucker." Darren handed Liv a glass and sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to him. "He summoned me to his office yesterday to tell me he was in love with you. Like that was going to make me take a step to the left and give you up. Not a chance in hell is that going to happen."

Olivia groaned. She knew it was going to be hard to end things with Darren but it was becoming harder than she first thought. "Darren, we need to talk."

"Oh God. No man wants to hear a woman say that." Darren sat the glass down on the table and faced Olivia. "You're still in love with him aren't you?"

"Yes. My life would be so much less of a mess if I weren't but I am."

"Dammit Olivia! I asked you if I was fighting a losing fight and you told me you wanted me. I knew better. My head told me to run for the hills but my damn heart wouldn't let me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you Darren. It's just that he's such a huge part of my heart." Olivia took a sip of wine to wash down the lump that was forming in her throat.

"I've been in your shoes before. I had a woman who loved me so much and I tossed her aside for the one I thought I couldn't live without. The one I felt was the one. And in the end, she fucked me over just like I had done the one who loved me. Tore my heart to shreds and I didn't think I could or would fall in love again then I came back to DC and there you were. I was a fool to think this would be something meaningful to _you_. When a woman was as heartbroken as you were, nothing good comes from trying to mend that. I thought I could be the guy to show you how much you deserve in life and in love."

"That's not fair Darren. What I feel for you is real, don't doubt that. Maybe if we had reconnected earlier things could have been different." Olivia knew her words sounded trite but she didn't know what else to say.

"You really expect me to believe that when everything you're saying now is a total contradiction? Did you think about him when we made love? Was it the though of him that got you so wet?"

"Now wait one damn minute! You're not going to sit in my home and disrespect me!" Olivia got up and stood directly in front of Darren who was still seated on the couch.

"You're right. That was disrespectful and I apologize. But I feel like you were using me, knowing that Fitz is a jealous asshole who would stake his claim on you once he saw you with someone else." Darren stood up so that he and Olivia were looking eye to eye. "I get it. The heart wants what it wants. I wish that it was me your heart wanted but hey, what can I do but let you go. I'm not giving you my blessing because I think you deserve so much more than that jackass but this is your life and your fuck up to make."

"Thank you. This wasn't a decision I made lightly." Olivia gave Darren a slight smile.

"I won't be here when he breaks your heart again though. I hope he doesn't for your sake but the track record speaks for itself." Darren kissed Liv on the forehead and left. As soon as the door closed behind him, Olivia grabbed her phone and called her sister.

* * *

Thirty minutes Jasmine was at her sister's door. "How did he take it?"

"He wasn't happy. Told me he wouldn't be there when Fitz broke my heart again. But that was _after_ he asked if I thought about Fitz when him and I had sex."

"That asshat! I would have kicked him square in the nuts."

"I'm relieved. I just need to talk to Fitz and figure out where we go from here."

"I'm happy for you sissy. You deserve to finally be with the man you love." Jasmine scooted closer to her sister on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "But I'm keeping an eye on that jackass that just left here. I don't trust him."

"I foolishly told him about Fitz and I. I don't think he'll tell anything but I'm definitely going to have Huck look into his background and see what kind of leverage he can find."

"Good idea Liv. I'll have Christian run a background check too. Just to make sure he's not a wanted criminal or anything."

"So, you and Christian are on again huh?" Olivia asked her sister smiling. Christian was Jasmine's on again, off again FBI agent boyfriend.

"Hey a girl's got needs and he fills those needs quite well. So why not keep him on deck." Both sisters laughed. Jasmine could run through men like water but Christian was never too far out of the picture.

* * *

"Did you really think having me served with papers would make me give you this divorce Fitz?" Mellie slammed the papers down on the desk in the Oval Office. "If you thought so, that bullet did more damage to your brain than they originally thought. No way I'm letting you go play house with your _mistress_!"

"Whether I'm with Olivia or not, we will be divorcing. And she's not my mistress. _We_ both know better than that." Fitz said, never looking up from the papers he was reading.

"You're an idiot! Truly I don't see how you have the sense to tie your own shoes some days. I'm not signing the damn papers! And if you force my hand, I swear to God I'll destroy you. I'll take your children, all of your money and every bit of political capital you have and I'll run for President and win. All the while burying you and tap dancing on your grave." Mellie seethed through slightly gritted teeth.

"Mel, those idle threats do nothing but bore me." Fitz finally looked up at her. "If that's all, I need to get back to my job."

"You won't have this job for much longer. You're going to throw away everything we've worked for over _Olivia Fucking Pope_?!"

"There is no "we"! I'm the President, not you! And damn right I would. I love her Mel. I. Love. Her! I'll do whatever I have to do to be with her. I want to remain President after everything comes out but if I don't oh well. But not having the love of my life isn't worth it. I'm not staying tethered to you to keep this job."

"Well dear, in case you've forgotten, your mistress is fucking someone else." Mellie was going to twist the knife.

"That's enough Mel! I'm warning you, you're dangerously close to pushing me over the edge." Fitz's face became red at the thought of Olivia being intimate with Darren.

"Ha! You can spew all this "Olivia is love" bullshit to me, but I hit your ass with the facts and you become a petulant child who doesn't want to share his toys. She doesn't want your whiny ass anymore Fitzgerald! Suck it up and get over her! I'm tired of having to tell you this. This is my last time doing so." Mellie sighed and regained her composure. "As for these divorce papers, well.." Mellie ripped them to shreds and threw them in the fireplace before leaving the room.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was basically something needed to push the story along. Jasmine doesn't trust Darren. Is she right or just being overprotective of her sister? As for Mellie, she's going to cause a lot more hell. But is she ready to possibly burn down her own house to burn down Fitz & Olivia's? **


End file.
